This is a story of overcoming.
A story of how light shone in a dark place where I have been ostracized. A place where I believed nobody could ever rescue me from. Untill light shone and had the final word.
Born and raised in a church with Christian parents. Learned the foundations of living a sound Christian life at a tender age. Baptized by 12. Joined the choir by 13. I could say I give the impression of a Christian child, one who knows almost every story in the Bible, has some verses of the Bible etched in my brain. I was easily the kind of child every parent wanted their rebellious kids to emulate.
But deep down, I was sinking, almost drowning in my river of pretense. Addicted to pornography at 12, depressed and anxiety stricken, went through several bouts of insecurities. I had this very bad habit of overthinking my future which sometimes leads to me having mild panic attacks.
All along this dark stages of my life, I knew I needed saving. I needed to be free. To see the light and come out of that dark area. Most of all I know I needed God. But to me, God isn’t someone who’s worthy of listening to me. He doesn’t mix with pretentious sinners like me. He was only someone I thought I could sing to on Sundays, or at least flaunt my voice to.
4 years of going through the circles that leads to nowhere, I decided to give up my fight and surrender. I was gradually coming to know God as someone who cares. There was no message that night, nobody preached from the pulpit, nobody came up to me, it was the most surreal experience I’ve had.
How God kept chasing after me, opening my eyes to see people whose lives He had changed and transformed and made great. And in that moment, I wanted that for myself. To be transformed. To live a life of peace and less worries. I got down on my knees that night and surrendered everything to God. The worries, the addictions, the fears, I gave it all to God, believing that His son has made me free from dying on the cross.
Oh, there were days when I struggled, fatally stumbled. I’m still not the best believer out there, I still forget to pray or feel very lazy to read the Bible. I still struggle to not worry about the future. I still struggle with the temptations (I can’t even count the number of times I gave in). But I’m learning to live day by day by grace. I’m learning to fully surrender to the Holy Spirit as He helps me live a life of total victory. I’m learning to place my future in God’s hands and trust that the plans He has for me are good.
I’m learning to believe with all my heart the words He said in the Holy Book that we overcome him (devil and every of his dubious tactics) by the blood of the lamb and by the words of our testimonies.
To everyone out there reading this story of my life, I want you to always remember that God loves and will keep loving you. No matter how ugly, how dirty, how immoral you think you are. His blood has washed you clean and He is ready, ever ready to extend His right hand of righteousness to you and call you ‘Son’
‘Cause that’s who we are. His loving blood-bought child overflowing with His light.
And this Living Expression is the Light that bursts through gloom— the Light that darkness could not diminish!John 1:5 TPT